On more than one occassion I have thought about sharing with all of you the one person that convinced me that I could love a handicapped disabled Child! His name is Kyle Edgar Dylan Wixson. I know quite a mouthful. I do not know what his parents were thinking!
Kyle came into my life at a period of time where I had very little or maybe no joy in my life. He is the youngest son of people who have come to be a second set of parents to me and an additional set of grandparents to my children. Pastor Clifton Wixson and his wife Judy, or Judith depending upon whom you ask came to the small town of Merrill, WI to help a church in the midst of a painful split. Not only was the church family that I had developed a close bond with falling apart, but so was my life in most areas. A marriage that I had struggled to stay in was further drowning in mistrust, lies and pain. In my personal life I was dealing with a past that I didn't feel like I could share with anyone.
I didn't want to like any of them. They came to take the place of people that were my friends, the former pastor and his wife and children had become a large part of my family's life. The pastor had dedicated my three children to the Lord and stood by us as a family during struggles that I was personally having even then.
Many times as I have thought about the Wixson family showing up I know that God was using this special little boy to prepare me for Chloe. I can not tell you how many times I said to myself I could never be a mom to a special needs child. Can't do it, don't have enough patience, I am an intellectual bigot and could never see myself with a child who couldn't recite his alphabet by two and read by four. God would never do that to me because He knows I can't do it. I am safe, He says He will not give you more than you can handle and I KNOW I can't handle that. I know that Mother Wixson, as I call her will read this and I know that she is laughing. Go ahead Mother....Even I can now laugh at that.
Now Kyle was not the first special child that I had encountered in my life. I have a niece with Downs Syndrome, but due to the distance between her family and mine I didn't have a lot of connection to her. With Kyle, there was no escaping him...ha! He made sure that within a matter of weeks he knew every person in that church. This seven year old boy was a gift to that church. He possessed more unconditional love and healing then any other person that had walked in the doors of that church before or since. I know I am not the only person that felt the affects of him in their lives.
After a long sleepless and painful battle with God I finally gave in and allowed this family into my life. Often times, in the midst of my bitter angry marriage I would escape to their home. Kyle was always there for a no questions asked hug. He and I would sit in the middle of the floor of their home and play. I loved the fact that his parents saddled him with one of the longest names in mankind and would often call him by his full name to which he began to call me Jeri Polacek and then he would giggle one of his infectious giggles that would make anyone laugh along with him. I taught him the importance of picking on his mother and licking her nose if she was getting too big for her britches.
Somewhere along the line the truth finally dawned on me. For as much as I thought I was teaching this little guy he was teaching me infinitely more. Kyle taught me the true meaning behind forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance. I have often wondered if forgiveness should come so easy. I think over the course of the last year living with my own very special little girl that I have come to ask myself...why shouldn't it??? Now don't get me wrong, just because we forgive doesn't mean we necessarily put ourselves back into the path of pain, but I think it does mean we just let it go. With Kyle and now with Chloe I have learned that if you hurt them in anyway they don't hold on to the bitterness. It doesn't have the power to control and destroy with them, like we as "Normal" people allow it to with us. This is just one of the many things that Kyle has taught me. Even now, with him living half a country away whenever I speak to him on the phone he is still the same loving little boy...well young man now! After all, he did have one hot date to the prom a couple of years ago!!!
I don't remember what the turning point was, but I clearly recall sitting on the living room floor with Kyle and thinking to myself, I could do this. I could love a special needs child. Don't I already. Still the thought of having my very own child with down's syndrome or something like it is much different than loving one that you can give back at the end of the day.
Many years have passed from those days. Kyle is all grown up now. He shaves, sings in the shower, and has gone to the prom. You will find him like any other young man his age with a set of head phones hooked up to his head with his favorite tunes playing on his IPOD. He talks about football season from the end of March Madness until the first kick off of preseason through to the last second of the super bowl. You can find him watching a copy of the previous years draft when he can't seem to find anything else football to entertain him. An avid Buffalo Bills fan he doesn't hold me personally responsible for my beloved Cowboys beating his team two years in a row in the Super Bowl. Not so sure his family feels the same though! He is a never ending source of joy for his parents and siblings.
Rarely a day goes by that I don't think about this amazing young man and his gift of love.
